Gaia is bear-y one!

Gaia is now bear-y one, and her birthday was simple, sweet, and heartwarming. I find so much joy in planning my kids’ birthdays, and even more so when it’s their first. I love the innocence and simplicity of their birthdays, especially seeing their expressions. That said, I’ve been excited to plan Gaia’s first birthday for a long time now, and it turned out bear-y cute and successful.

I didn’t quite have a theme in mind. Instead, I was going for a simple rainbow pastel look. I love pastels, especially because I find they suit her personality well: sweet, calm, and feminine. The rainbows are most dear to me, too, not only because they’re colourful and fun and festive for a baby’s birthday, but Gaia was also a rainbow baby who’d been conceived after a miscarriage. The vision was all so fitting.

The night prior to the celebration was exciting. The kids were asleep, which meant a date night for my husband and I — we put up the decor together. I was enamoured with how it all turned out, especially the backdrop. Because we have a wall mirror, I wanted a backdrop to cover the reflection, so I used wrapping paper that I’d found at Dollarama for $5 for two rolls. They were lucky finds, too, because they were rainbow-themed. (A birthday backdrop on Amazon was too expensive for a one-time event.)

It was 2AM by the time my husband and I had finished cleaning up the house and decorating. We sat on the couch, popcorn bowl in hand, ready to watch a Doctor Who special. Pragmatically, I knew we should’ve gone to bed after decorating, as we’ve been severely sleep deprived. But I couldn’t sleep. Besides looking forward to celebrating Gaia and seeing her reactions and having family visit, feelings of anxiety and despair snuck up on me.

My dad had been sick for a while now, from what or where or when, and how, none of us knew. I was sad that there was a possibility that he wouldn’t be able to attend Gaia’s birthday. Moreover, if he could, I knew that after the birthday, he’d still have to go to the ER to get his symptoms checked. The timing was off between a birthday celebration and a hospital visit, but it was admittedly very practical timing — my sister would be in town to drive him there and stay with him throughout the visit.

Therein lived the conundrum: the decor and birthday festivity awaited with hope and promises, but there was also the reality that we all held on to our breaths. Everyone had been physically and mentally taxed in their own ways, especially my parents due to my dad having been sick, and my sister for all her work-related ailments, compounded by the drive here.

Gaia in her rainbow sequin birthday dress. It melted my heart seeing her in it.

The morning of Gaia’s birthday celebration, my heart found joy. It was a new day — a celebratory day — and I knew that it would be an exciting day for the kids. The kids woke up and were happy to see all the decor. Keaton had a calm but joyful smile and said, “Wow, nice.” Gaia, too, looked pleased with the atmosphere. She was so cute in her rainbow sequin butterfly dress, with her pink stockings, hopping around.

After breakfast and getting ready, we went to pick up the cake, which turned out so graceful, sweet, and feminine — fit for Gaia’s first birthday. It was very much her. Besides rainbows and a pastel theme, I’d requested mini hair bows and a bear wearing one to honour Gaia’s first year of wearing hair bows. As for the flavour, I’d opted for vanilla cake with raspberry filling. It was a tad too sweet, but simultaneously divine and addictive.

By the time we got home, my sister and nieces had arrived. This is when the fun began. Keaton was absolutely thrilled to see them again (it does him good to see them often lately). Gaia, too, was delighted to see everyone. She was friendly and social, but very shy and calm at that. She loved playing with her auntie and cousins. Of course, everyone adored her for her sweet gestures and all the oh-so-darn-cute sounds she makes.

My parents, the kids’ Kong-Ma, arrived shortly after. I felt a sense of deep relief that they could make it, as it was their granddaughter’s first birthday. It would’ve been heartbreaking for everyone if they hadn’t been able to. I could see that my dad was fatigued from all the lack of sleep, but he was functional and present. Even if he couldn’t hold Gaia, the healing part for him was seeing her and Keaton, and all his grandkids under one roof.

Everyone who could be there, was there. Besides her mommy and daddy and big brother Ton-Ton, her Kong-Ma were there, as well as surprise guests, Auntie Mel Mel and cousins, Magaly and Victoria. Unfortunately, Auntie Reine and Uncle Titi couldn’t come because Auntie Reine was also sick. But, as always, she was so kind to send us home-cooked meals for Gaia’s birthday. (I’m incredibly lucky to have a thoughtful sister-in-law, who’s the most amazing and versatile cook I know.)

First time eating cake

So, we sang “Happy Birthday” and blew out the candle. Gaia looked around at all of us, intrigued whilst also basking in the celebration herself. It was amusing to watch her eating cake for the first time, too, because even how she approached it was like a little lady. She’d make very slow and calculating movements, and move the spoon very slowly to her mouth. The plot twist? She didn’t like it.

She didn’t eat much, except for a few licks and bird bites. I was very surprised because oftentimes, babies love sweets. One could expect them to go bonkers with their first cake tasting experience (her big brother was like that). But not Gaia, though. I have a theory that she’s on a diet to maintain her slim chic physique for some pageant I don’t know about.

The cutest part was watching her open her gifts. Again, she was very slow and methodical; she was a patient little lady. When she saw the plushies, though, her excitement flew in. She shook with joy! She just loves plushies (that’s a difference we noted between having a girl and a boy). She especially loved the bunny we’d bought her, and immediately cuddled it, tapped it a few times, and kissed it — all while making her cute sounds. She even shared it with her brother, too!

Everyone ate a lot of good food afterwards, thanks to my sister-in-law who’d sent some our way. It was so dear to watch Gaia sit between her grandparents enjoying her birthday meal. I was especially content to see my dad eat. He hadn’t eaten and slept for days, so seeing him have an appetite was a very good sign. I think being with his family, especially his grandkids, really gave him moral support and energy, most of all.

Following the birthday celebration, my sister and dad left to the ER. The rest of us stayed home and watched movies and played with the kids. My mom was worried about my dad, but the good news came not too long after. After a surprising mere 3.5-hour wait (oftentimes the wait time is much longer), the doctor concluded that my dad was fine, and simply prescribed some medications. We were all relieved and elated, especially my parents.

I know that for my sister, who drove all the way here from Montreal to attend her niece’s birthday, also felt a sense of relief having taken our dad to the hospital. I know she wouldn’t have lived well with herself if she hadn’t. We all knew it was best to be safe than sorry. And I’m thankful for her, and for all her resilience and dedication to her family, despite all her own struggles. She was very tired, but was ready to stay the night at the hospital, if need be.

Alas, that was Gaia’s first birthday celebration: an imperfect day that started off with worries and the unknown, that later transformed into magical moments and perfection. It was a Christmas miracle. Everyone was healthy and well, and there was my sweet daughter, cute-as-a-button, hopping around on her bum and loving all the company around her. Life was/is good.

***

We also went to the farm the next morning. I knew it would be memorable to take my nieces out on an adventure with my own kids, because normally when they visit, we all tend to stay home as time is just too short. But this time, even if my sister and they were leaving in the afternoon, we all made it a point to go on an adventure beforehand, anyway.

My nieces are now in their teenage years, so not everything is fun anymore; but, they did enjoy their farm visit, especially feeding the animals. Keaton also had so much fun playing chase with them in the labyrinth. This was a rare moment of adventure the cousins had together, and it did him a mountain of good.

I’m beginning to see that perhaps Keaton is repressed and frustrated. What he needs is more mental and social stimulation. He’s just so bright, so naturally he craves avenues through which he can share his creativity and insights with the world, especially through play. He’s been isolated for a long time, and I’ve noticed just how better behaved he is when these needs are met. I’m also very proud of him for being so mindful that it was his sister’s birthday, and for allowing her to have her celebratory moment.

As for Gaia, I’m not quite sure she was aware that it was her birthday, as she’s still so young. But she was very much aware of all the love headed her way. She herself had an infinite amount of love to share with others, too. She was a bubble of fluff and sweetness wherever she’d hop to.

The weekend was short and sweet, and adventuresome in many ways. I myself miss my sister and nieces deeply. We rarely see each other, so when we meet, I find myself feeling so joyful that their departure is juxtaposed by a sudden fall — a feeling of grief. I just really miss my family, and I wish we could see each other more often.

We also did a mini birthday celebration on Gaia’s actual birthday with the grandparents. This time, she wore her pink-polkadot-on-brown dress that my mom had bought her a long way back. She was so cute.

All the decor remained the same — I tend to keep it for a while to bask in it longer — but we did get another cake, which was symbolically important for me to mark the celebration of her true birthday. It was a simple banana one that we’d picked up from the supermarket.

Again, even with her second cake, Gaia refused to eat any, except for a few licks. I felt guilty that we were all enjoying her cakes, while she didn’t want any. I did offer the two cakes to her many times, but to no success. I really hope that when she’s older, she’ll come around to wanting some of her birthday cake — that’s a big part of the fun for this momma’s heart.

For what it’s worth, Gaia had experienced the best of the gifts: all the love and celebration in the world, and on two occasions, too. She’s a happy baby, and she knows she’s loved.

Happy Birthday to my sweet baby girl, who’s the light and healing of our lives. May your heart always be filled with trust, your mind with will, and your feet with strength. May God and the Universe and your Highest Soul guide you to limitless heights, and to your greatest potential and calling. May the goodness in you always prevail. We love you.

Double trouble

It’s already December, and here I am on the precipice of many vomiting spells from all the coughing. I feel like a walking virus with a neck as veinous as the Hulk’s. We’d skipped a year in the sickness department, and now, here we are, as a family of four, sick like toads. Luckily, the kids’ symptoms were mild, and they were rather unbothered.

Christmas is the holiday that I look forward to most every year; there’s so much to do, experience, and feel. Yet time has flown by so fast; and while we’ve done many Christmas activities already, the feeling of being in the festive spirit just hasn’t caught up. Expectation and reality feel like mismatched socks. It’s many things in a complex dance, and combined, it’s overwhelming.

It seems as if we could never catch a break since March 2020, or since the birth of our firstborn and the pandemic began. From that point on, our lives spiralled for better and for worse — the ripple effects felt deeply and constantly. Issues began and multiplied, and mutated into many variations. And in the midst of it all, there was no opportunity for physical, mental, or emotional respite.

For a brief moment, though, we’d caught a breath of air — we’d bought our first home last year. It was the climatic point of hope and promises. But not for long. Once again, our living environment — what was supposed to be our safe haven — became a hazard. More issues arose, and we found ourselves having to pack up and leave, and be wary of even our footsteps upon returning.

Besides the crippling financial effects these events have had on our lives, and with them, the stresses they’ve had on our relationships, are the deep effects they’ve had on our children, because we, as parents, have been struggling immensely. We’ve been deep in the dungeon of guilt, feeling the weight of the circumstances, while simultaneously feeling like royal failures and like the world’s shittiest parents for failing our kids in ways we never thought we would.

Then there’s Christmas around the corner. The tree and lights and all the decor exude a glowing warmth; the smell of cinnamon and pine fills the air with glee; the yard is covered with a fluffy blanket of snow; holiday songs fill the stores and streets with celebration. We have a roof, food, warmth, our family. Yet all doesn’t feel as it should. The external world is seemingly a snow globe, yet the internal world remains a dark mist. Therein lies the mocking juxtaposition that’s reality for us, and for many people, during what’s supposed to be a festive season.

Much guilt eats away at me. I wish I’d been a healthier, happier mother to my children. I wish I’d been a kinder, more loving wife. I wish I’d been more grounded and lived up to my potential. Yet somehow, when none of the fluff makes sense, through my will to live and love, I find myself yearning to make memories with my family, as shattered as our lives have been. I yearn to sew presence and love out of the ripped fabric of our existence. Especially through the broken parts of myself.

For one, we put up our Christmas tree. My parents, the kids’ Kong-Ma, were here to experience the moment, too. Last year, when we put up the tree, it was only them and Keaton, as Gaia was still in my belly. This year, she’s here, too, hopping around on her bum at full speed and exploring. By the time it’s Christmas, she’ll already be one. She’s so full of awareness and interest. It’s so endearing to see her hopping around, whilst holding and hugging and kissing my dancing penguin. It’s double trouble with two now.

Seeing the Christmas tree and decorations and lights brings immense joy to my heart. I see and feel celebration, family, togetherness, and love. As challenging as events in our lives have been, I do have the utmost trust that it’s going to be the most heartwarming Christmas yet, because now, our family is complete with all four of us. There’s strength in family, because where there’s love, there’s will. And where there’s will, there’s possibility.

Keaton was our biggest helper in putting up the ornaments

Whereas last year Gaia was a newborn at Christmas, this year she’s another carbuncle on the loose

I found this beautiful angel that I dedicated to my sister; it makes me feel like she’s with us

Gnome ornaments I’d painted for Keaton and Gaia!

Kinda cute, yes?

Ferme L’Éco des Champs

The first Christmas-y activity we did was visit Ferme l’Éco des Champs again. They now have pre-cut trees for sale, and I’m enamoured with the Christmas tree that they’d put up inside the market shed. It’s all in the minute details, but simply having that tree really changes the farm into a festive wonderland.

This time, Keaton wanted to feed the goats and alpacas, but to our disappointment, they weren’t hungry. While the baby goats were still curious and social even if they weren’t looking to eat, the alpacas looked at us as if we were the most out of place tourists on this earth for trying to feed them. That’s when we reasoned that we’ll stick to the chickens and piggies next time; they’re always hungry.

Cedar Hill Christmas Tree Farm

Rows of growing trees for someone’s next Christmas tree

A picturesque spot fit for a proposal or love confession (cue the cheesy Hallmark movies)

It was our first time visiting Cedar Hill Christmas Tree Farm — what a magical place! They had wide open fields of beautifully lined trees ready to be cut and adorned in the home, as well as baby trees just poking their heads out of the ground. I was itching to cut one myself, but since we already had one at home, I reasoned that perhaps next year or when the kids are a bit older we can return to cut our first Christmas tree.

Besides cut-your-own trees, they also had pre-cut trees as well as many handmade wreaths. Their store was also neat to wander in. There were ornaments, winter wear, soaps, Christmas decor, food goodies, and many more. Their fire pit was a hot spot to warm up, and they also had some farm animals to admire. There were also picturesque spots fit to film Hallmark movies (cue the cheesy ones).

This year, our visit was Keaton enjoying the dynamic playground and Gaia seeing some bunnies and piggies, and us parents enjoying our hot chocos in the scenic environment. But next year or after that, I hope to return to cut our own Christmas tree for the first time.

Magic of Lights at Wesley Clover Parks

We did another Magic of Lights event at Wesley Clover Parks. While last year Gaia was in my belly when we did the drive-through, this year she was in the car seat. Unfortunately, she slept through the whole driving experience; otherwise, she would’ve appreciated all the lights and colours.

This time, we also stopped at the Holiday Pit Stop. It was nice to actually get out of the car and walk a little to do some activities. There were some photo-ops, a BeaverTail truck, and a mini trail to enjoy the lights. Gaia was awake by then and quite enamoured by the colourful lights over her.

Ottawa Christmas Market at Landsdowne Park

The Right Bite’s gingerbread and shortbread cookies are just… a different species of delicious

We waited for our family photo with Santa (our first one yet)!

The Ottawa Christmas Market at Landsdowne Park is a European-style Christmas market that features many vendors, activities, and entertainment. We went on opening night, and of course, as expected, driving in meant that there would be a long wait time — cars were lined all the way down the road.

But the night was young and there was plenty of fun to be had. Although we missed the tree-lighting ceremony, we did catch a glimpse of the carollers. We also took a stroll in the Aberdeen Pavilion, which was crowded between all the vendors and even more patrons. After Keaton had gotten his Christmas cookie from The Right Bite, we scurried out. In retrospect, I’m sure we caught a virus inside the pavilion.

It was also crowded outdoors, and although I enjoyed all the lights and festivities — the kids enjoyed the atmosphere, too — I was happy to call it a night. The atmosphere was very festive with many happy smiles all around, but because I’m easily overstimulated by crowds, going home not too long after was what I needed. We did manage to take our first family photo with Santa. That was a major success.

Cumberland Heritage Village Museum

It was our first time attending the Vintage Village of Lights at the Cumberland Heritage Village Museum, and so far, it’s my favourite go-to place for a Christmas activity with my family. Whereas the Ottawa Christmas Market at Landsdowne Park was festive but overstimulating due to all the entertainment and the crowd of people, the Vintage Village of Lights here was the opposite: festive but very quiet, peaceful, and leisurely.

The lights at the museum did look and feel like a picturesque postcard. It was a beautiful sight to behold, and an even more beautiful experience to be had. I love that the experience was a mix of outdoors and indoors, where we could stroll around and appreciate the heritage buildings and see demonstrations, as well as enter some of them to do activities like decorate gingerbread cookies (we could eat them, too!) and take photos with Santa.

I look forward to coming back at least once more before the season is over. Not only is it very affordable — it’s $25 for six people — but it’s also very low-key and low-energy, fit for a quiet and calm leisurely stroll devoid of crowds. I love their family activities, and the staff were a delightful bunch.

Christmas Market in Old Aylmer

We visited the Christmas Market in Old Aylmer last year, just two weeks before Gaia was born. I was heavily pregnant at that point and walking like a penguin. This year, she poked her head out of the stroller — eyebrows knitted, and curious and analytical as usual. While there was no train ride this year for Keaton, it was still sweet to remember the memories, and to appreciate time in all its fragments.

Billings Estate National Historic Site

They really do look… homemade. I’m the worst crafter, but I had so much fun

The Billings Estate National Historic Site is a heritage museum here in Ottawa that was built by and used to house the Billings family, one of the earliest settlers. This site is now operated by the City of Ottawa.

We visited the museum for their Home for the Holidays program, where we could explore all the Christmas decor accenting the old, wood-frame home, look at souvenirs and learn about the Billings family and their legacy, and craft our own Christmas ornaments.

When we’re out, it’s rare for Keaton to remain seated and still; he’d often run off and explore (he’s very strong-willed at that). This is why I really appreciated our time together making our own pine cone ornaments. He helped me craft them by choosing the ribbons and adding glue. Because he’s normally not a crafty kid either, having him experience this moment was very joyful for me.

There were cinnamon sticks and star anise, too, that we could add to our pine cones (I added a few to ours). The scent livened the atmosphere in the old home. There’s something deeply calming and cozy about the scent. Now, with our pine cones on our Christmas tree — Keaton put them there — I can’t help but go up to them for a nice sniff.

Stanley’s Olde Maple Lane Farm

We missed Stanley’s Olde Maple Lane Farm’s daytime holiday activities, so we attended their nighttime Holiday Stroll instead. We were all sick and fatigued, and while it made all the practical sense to stay home and rest, I knew we had to do a trip to see the holiday lights — they would lift all our spirits. And lift them they did.

The holiday lights were magical there. The path of lights took about an hour’s stroll. There were traditional displays, and quirky and romantic ones. Santa’s Village was particularly fun to explore. There were mini houses where we could search for different characters and objects for fun.

The latest memory I’m particularly fond of, are these Christmas ornament crafts (I bought them from Dollarama). Keaton has never been an arts-and-crafts kid; he’d have very little patience for and interest in them. But when I enthusiastically told him that I was excited for us to do a Christmas craft together, he agreed to it. I was skeptical that he’d follow through; often times, he’d just tell us to do it for him (this is a problem we have with him).

Yet this experience was different. It was a Christmas miracle, if I may describe it as a such. To my surprise, as soon as he arrived home, he was adamant about starting the craft right away (to my own chagrin because I didn’t even have time to remove my coat and boots). He then proceeded to craft. With my help in reading the instructions, he intently put all the pieces of the characters together, by himself.

Even if his interest began to wane at the third and fourth character, the fact that he carried through with all the characters, and did it all himself, was a huge success. It might’ve been a simple Dollarama craft, yes, but I felt proud of his cute accomplishment (the characters are so adorable), and even prouder that he was able to concentrate, despite his own inclinations elsewhere. I even dated them at the back, just like my father used to do with my own art work. This way, I could keep them forever as a souvenir.

While these ornaments were meant to be for the tree, it’s really dear how he put them in random places around the house as decor, and is very adamant about leaving them in their respective places. I really look forward to him doing more arts and crafts, so I could adorn our walls with them as time goes by. Parents whose children give them art work are the luckiest in the world; I’d love to receive them from my children, too.

***

I’m not sure how events will unravel with our home. We have a few weeks to find out. I hope and pray that all will be fixed and back to normal. Our hearts are heavy, to be sure, but these past Christmas activities and events with the kids have more than saved us. They’ve brought a ray of light to our darkness.

Last moments of autumn 2023

Ferme l’Éco des Champs

At this point in the season, we’d already visited many farms and done many fall activities (to an embarrassing degree). Not knowing what to do on our day off during the final autumn days, we decided to return to Ferme l’Éco des Champs. After all, it was open daily and had accommodating hours.

It was the ideal place to go. I knew that it would be a long enough drive to be a road trip, and the kids would be able to spend time outdoors and get all the fresh air, as well as interact with and appreciate the farm animals, and life in all its simplicity and resilience. Moreover, this farm that’s so well-loved by its owner, really is a spiritual retreat for visitors.

We visited during their peak autumn season and were greeted by a very autumn-y scenery. Pumpkins from all walks of life adorned the entrance with such welcoming brightness. We were also greeted by all the hungry chickens, to be sure. They followed us as soon as they saw us on the farm, as if they could sense that our little gnome had food on him — he did.

The outing was particularly memorable. We fed the chickens, which Keaton enjoyed immensely. I, too, found it deeply healing. I never even thought I’d like chickens — until now, that is, especially after having seen how social and cute they can be. In fact, all the animals on the farm were friendly and social, except for the alpacas, really. They looked like haughty cats judging me — unimpressed.

Being amongst all the animals was a calming and therapeutic experience — this is why I love this farm so much. Getting up close to the animals was a very personal experience, and they were all so well-loved and taken care of (the owner is a human gem). Gaia was also curious herself. She especially enjoyed observing the piggies.

Beaver Pond

After attending a family-friendly Halloween event at the Diefenbunker Museum — Keaton was dressed up as Marshall from Paw Patrol and Gaia was a round, squishy pumpkin — we spent the remaining part of the day walking around Beaver Pond in Kanata, which is where we had our family photos taken.

The sight of yellow and orange leaves was golden. I love that Keaton enjoyed walking around with us and exploring the scenery. Gaia, on the other hand, also enjoyed the moment with her one fry in hand. These are the simple family moments that I live for.

Geobern Farm – The James

The final farm we visited was the Geobern Farm – The James. This farm was as cute-as-a-button, especially their play barn that really was a magical place for kids to be. Heck, even as an adult I found myself swooning at all the children’s activities. There was a colouring table, a ball pit, a costume station, a sensory table, and a reading bench, to name a few.

The barn was beautifully decorated with Halloween characters, too. The details and thoughts that went in to making this place a festive and welcoming space for kids and families, were so impressive. Keaton especially loved the corn sensory table with tractors, while Gaia enjoyed playing with the barn house toy which featured farm animals. She was also so social on the wagon ride!

After these visits, it was Halloween not too long after, of course. Keaton was Marshall from Paw Patrol — he was so darn adorable with his hat and hanging ears and tail — and Gaia was the roundest moochable pumpkin on this earth. While the former chose this year’s costume, the latter was stuck with my choice. Since I was a pumpkin as a kid, I’d reasoned that she’d be one on her first Halloween, too. Even she found her pumpkin costume cozy and fit for cuddles.

While Keaton missed having his best friend trick-or-treating with him this year — she’d gone back to her country, sadly — he did have a new addition: his baby sister to join him. We went trick-or-treating in my parents’ neighbourhood, and I was surprised at how many candies Keaton had gotten. So much for a miniature size human. Gaia had fun going through his stash, too (it’s sensory play for her).

Can I see your bobo?

The Log Farm

Thanksgiving was on Monday, October 9th, and it was the perfect autumn day for the holiday — cold, cloudy, and raining. Before that, it had already been raining for days and the kids had been stuck at home, so we thought it would be refreshing to spend the afternoon outdoors — we went to The Log Farm — before coming back home to celebrate the grand turkey.

I’m proud of myself for being efficient. I’d put the turkey in the oven early in the morning knowing that we’d do an afternoon activity, so that by the time we came back home the main dish was already prepped, with only a few side dishes to cook. Timing was perfect; the kids got to spend time outdoors at the farm and supper was ready just in time for hungry bellies.

I didn’t expect to see fellow guests at The Log Farm when we’d arrived, either; after all, it had been raining nonstop throughout the day. But when I saw fellow families bringing in their kids with their rain boots and umbrellas, I felt an immediate sense of comfort and warmth.

“There are other families braving the rain, too,” I thought.

“We’re all in it together.”

The wagon ride this time was really an autumn one. It had been raining and our bums were wet on the seat, and I held an umbrella over Gaia in her car seat the whole way through, but everything felt so right.

The leaves were their quintessential autumn colours; the weather was wet and rainy; the temperature was cold and crisp; and the wind was so relaxing, all worries had been forgotten. It was so cozy that Gaia fell asleep during the wagon ride, too.

Besides playing at his usual play barn, Keaton also fed goats. He loves feeding the animals here every time we visit.

The last activity we did on the farm was walk through scarecrow lane to spot all the funky scarecrows. This was my favourite part of the visit — being purely in nature among trees. With it finally looking and feeling like autumn, I was the happiest version of myself at this very moment.

This was supposed to be a mom giving her two kids a bath. So cute.

Last year, my parents and I had posed with this family of scarecrows (I was pregnant with Gaia).

The farm was about to close, so we had to scurry back shortly after our foresty walk. I really didn’t want to leave so soon.

Pink Lake, Gatineau Park

It was our first time at Pink Lake in Gatineau Park. We got off on the wrong footing — it wasn’t obvious which coordinates to insert in the GPS — but when we came around the second time, we saw a black bear along the side of the road, which retreated back to the forest when it saw us. I was fascinated because it was the first time I’d seen one.

“It’s a sign that we should go back,” my husband said.

It was almost a synchronistic encounter. Before we left the house, I’d read about black bears in Gatineau Park. This is because I like to understand and be aware of my environment and surroundings, and more so as a mom now. Safety is always paramount.

Just as I’d thought, though, it’s indeed often the case that black bears simply avoid human interaction. But, as visitors and guests visiting their habitat, it was important for us to be mindful of their home, and essentially, of our own safety.

(We didn’t go back home. We went ahead with our excursion.)

Pink Lake was breathtaking. It wasn’t pink, though. It was named Pink Lake in honour of the Pink family from Ireland who’d settled here back in 1826.

The lake is actually a deep blue-green colour due to the abundance of algae. Moreover, it’s in fact a meromictic lake, which means that the layers of waters don’t mix and mingle.

Looking into the lake was almost like looking into someone’s eyes. There was mystery in the translucence. Seeing the reflection of all the surrounding nature was like seeing a whole universe.

Here you could see the reflection of the clouds and surrounding trees.

The lake was especially beautiful here with its green hue.

We didn’t encounter any black bears during our hike, thankfully. Yet even if nature herself can be unpredictable and unfeeling, the unsettling part of the experience wasn’t that. It was our son.

While the lake was breathtaking and I longed deeply for healing and refuge being in nature, I still couldn’t bask in the moment. There was a stark contrast — a mocking juxtaposition between the peaceful scenery and the misery that lived in me.

We didn’t hike the whole trail and had to leave because our boy couldn’t, and wouldn’t, listen. He kept walking off ahead of us and inching closer to where he shouldn’t. Rather than enjoying the scenery and hike as a family, my husband and I were filled with stress and anxiety. Everything had become a safety hazard. The battle was constant.

There was nothing left of me in my life that was mine. After becoming a mom, what I needed most was a simple walk in nature, and even then it’s become an impossible feat. While being in nature when I was young meant that I could sense freedom, as a mom now going back there leaves me feeling a sense of hopelessness. So, I broke down and cried at the lookout.

There’s loss in knowing that for the time being, I can’t bridge the two greatest loves of my life: nature and my children. Gaia is very easygoing, so the challenge isn’t there with her. It’s rather with my dear boy. And the most painful part of it all is just the fact that I’d wanted to share this sweet moment with him, but I couldn’t because he wouldn’t let me.

Keaton is a special kid. He’s hyper-intelligent and his problem-solving skills are out of this world, with a brain of a seasoned engineer since his early days. He’s also very kind and feeling. Yet he can also be difficult to a degree that’s humanly unbearable to handle.

Despite the messy parts, there’s not a time when I want to be apart from him. Instead, I long to have him experience life to the fullest with me because we’re a team, and I owe it to him to give him a healthy life of growth and self-awareness.

Proulx Farm

Keaton did better the following days. He knew him and his baby sister were getting their flu shots — I’d prepared him for it — so the morning we went in, he was ready.

Both kids did amazing; neither of them had cried. Keaton was older and knew what was going on, and why. As for baby Gaia, she kept looking at the nurse and smiling while getting her vaccine.

We were so proud of Keaton when he’d told the nurse not to hurt his sister. He’s become so protective of her, which is so reassuring and endearing for my worried heart. He even asked to see our “bobo,” a reflection of worry and concern that’s deeply characteristic of him.

The kids were a bit tired and low-energy following their vaccines, but we still went to a farm because it made us all happy. This was our second visit of the season to Proulx Farm, and again, it was such an adventuresome place to be.

The last time we’d visited, it felt like a hot summer day; now, leaves abound and temperatures are colder.

With the abundance of leaves, I even collected some to put in the kids’ journals.

Gaia’s first time in a pile of autumn leaves!

At the end of our visit, we went to the pumpkin patch to pick our free pumpkins, which was really appreciated, because at this point, the squirrels had already eaten most of the dozen or so pumpkins in our yard.

It was a fun day with the kids, but it was also a confusing and tiring one for me — physically, mentally, emotionally. Funnily, I didn’t even know if I was going to make it through the day alive.

“Something’s off with me,” I told my husband.

Lately, besides the sporadic gushing nose bleeds — only from my right nostril — I’ve also been experiencing whooshing sounds and vibrations in my right ear. The morning of the farm visit, I’d suddenly woken up to intense neck pain that connected to my head, which made it impossible for me to reach out my hand without sharp pain. Later in the day, my tailbone also started hurting — so much so, I was in pain just standing up from sitting position.

Yet, I found myself at the farm. I guess I’m not normal in that regard. Normal people if in pain, rest and take it easy. Me if I’m in pain, I continue on as if nothing’s happening. Maybe that’s how I’ll croak?

“At least it’ll be in nature and I’ll retreat to the other side happily,” I reason.

Pumpkin oasis at Millers’

Millers’ Farm’s iconic pumpkin shed

Gaia exploring the hay bale

Blooming mums

We’d visited Millers’ Farm and Market many times before, especially during the summer months to pick strawberries or buy produce in their market shed and visit their playground, but this was the first time we visited the farm during their annual fall festivities. My heart somersaulted, because friends, this place was an enchanting pumpkin oasis unlike any I’ve seen so far — it’s as if the farm itself wore the colour orange!

It was difficult upon arrival, though. Keaton was devilishly cranky and upset that we’d opened the package of his fruit bar the wrong way, and no matter how hard we tried to rectify the situation nothing worked. He kept crying and screaming the gates of hell open. At that point in time, which felt like an eternity, my heart and mind were in complete disarray.

Somehow, after hugs and reassurance and our clumsy attempt at bringing him to the car to calm down, he started settling down — somewhat. He accepted the fruit bar as is, and was even looking forward to using the camera tripod to take photos. The excitement of the wagon ride also saved us (thank goodness).

We were lucky, because although the farm normally offered wagon rides on weekends only, when we visited on that particular weekday they offered them as well (weekdays were already bustling with eager visitors at that point).

We hopped on a wagon ride to their pumpkin patch (Keaton was appeased by his fruit bar by then). The pumpkin patch was huge of course, with orange and white pumpkins of all shapes and sizes. This time, we picked white pumpkins as we already had a collection of orange ones at home (probably being eaten by squirrels, too, while we were away).

The only odd and unpleasant part about the experience was just how hot it was. It felt like a hot summer day, rather than a chilly autumn one. Who knew I’d be in a dress and sandals sweating like a sumo wrestler in a pumpkin patch in October in Canada?

Gaia picking up twigs and playing with the ground, as per usual

This scene and angle was particularly dreamy and idyllic. Look at the endless field of pumpkins! I could imagine how perfect it would be for professional photoshoots. While I’m not on social media myself, I could also see how these photos would be eye candy on Instagram.

Even if I’d never done this when I was young and found it quite silly, now that I’m older, I do find it quite endearing seeing young ladies and their friends come all dressed up, ready to take those perfect photos. I wish I’d done some of it when I was younger (except I was busy contemplating life and spending copious amounts of time in public libraries in complete hibernation).

As a mom now, I love scanning for opportunities to take photos of our family, especially of the kids. Funnily enough, Keaton successfully snapped a few good photos of the four of us. We weren’t just all present in the photos, but we were also all smiling (somewhat), which, to me, was the biggest achievement.

I have Keaton to thank for our successful family photos. He was the one who’d insisted on bringing the camera tripod to the farm (he’s been into taking photos with my phone recently). Crazy that we had it but just never used it, until our little guy had developed an inkling towards photography.

As my husband was strapping the kids in the car, I had to slither away to the entrance one last time to soak in all the pumpkin vibes, which were the highlight of my day. I couldn’t get enough of this quintessential autumn scene.

Our current autumn and Halloween-esque backyard. Forgive the half-eaten pumpkins and shrivelling mums.

My husband’s first pumpkin carving of the season! Something I adore about him is his penchant for ideas and spontaneous creativity. Out of nowhere tonight I heard him rummaging for a knife and bowl, only to scurry quickly to the yard right after. Then he showed me this.

Pumpkins After Dark

Keaton entering the spoooky pumpkin

Last night, we attended Pumpkins After Dark, a Halloween-themed walk-through event at Wesley Clover Parks that features over ten thousand hand-carved pumpkins. This event spans from September 29 to October 31, 2023, so there’s plenty of time and opportunities for Halloween enthusiasts to visit.

Because this event takes place over the course of a month, it really is ideal for those like myself who prefer a leisurely stroll devoid of intense crowds. In fact, when we visited last night, a summery Sunday evening, there wasn’t a crowd at all (it helped that the displays were vastly spread out).

Tent of funky displays

These pumpkins had all been hand-carved, and the details are just out-of-this-world impressive!

My brother would’ve loved these. They’re made out of pumpkins. How cool is that?!

The dinosaur display, or “Jurassic Zone,” was Keaton’s favourite part. He even argued it was Jurassic Park, not Zone. This was the part where he demanded for his daddy to take him off his shoulders, and excitedly ran off.

The Avengers

Batman and Superman!

Fictional and non-fictional boxing legends. (Again, all made out of pumpkins!)

Dreamy tunnel of pumpkins and lights

Singing pumpkins!

This little tunnel of singing pumpkins and dancing lights was so much fun. The entertainment factor was very well done!

As we continued, we saw so many more cool displays made out of pumpkins, featuring the Ouija board, Michael Jackson, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Harry Potter, Cinderella, and many more!

Keaton, although a bit scared at times, enjoyed it, especially the dinosaur exhibit. He also loved running towards the displays with lively music. (Perhaps he’s a little party animal, too, who loves going out at night.) Gaia, on the other hand, sweetly and quietly observed her surroundings from the comfort and warmth of her blanket and stroller throughout the evening.

As for my husband and I, it felt like a date night even with the kids present. We seldom go out at night in general because we have young kids (lame excuse, I know). But last night, this spontaneous outing was one of the best decisions and family events we’d made and experienced. It also helped immensely that the walk-through was leisurely and Keaton followed suit without any battles whatsoever (win!).

Everything contributed to a successful, memorable evening: an impressive and entertaining Halloween event, a warm evening with a light autumn breeze (featuring a big orange full moon), kids that were low maintenance, and finally, feeling that we’re actually living life as parents and as a family.

Sweet seconds

Rideau Pines Farm

I think this marked our last time strawberry-picking at Rideau Pines Farm, and the moment was magical and just right. We arrived an hour prior to closing time, just as the sun was starting to set.

While we didn’t get to fill our basket this time around as strawberries were very sparse, we were still very lucky to have made it out this late in the season. In fact, they’re one of the only — if not the only — farms that had strawberries available for picking going into fall.

These strawberries are the sweetest I’ve ever had, even the bright red and white-tinted ones. Imagine the deep reds — they’re like candy!

Cannamore Orchard

Keaton excited to go pumpkin picking with his wagon

A longer walk, but we found BIG pumpkins at the farther patch

The addition of a toy shed this year

Gaia enjoyed playing with the farm house toys

Cannamore Orchard holds a special place in my heart, because last year, my parents came along with us — they’d visited many farms with us when I was pregnant — and my mom got stuck in the cow train ride, which made for the most epic laugh of the season. This year, though, we returned with only our family of four (Gaia being the new addition).

Since it was a weekday, they didn’t have their Family Fun Weekend activities running — those happen only on weekends — but we did get to access the whole farm. We went to their pumpkin patch and found some really big pumpkins. Then, we went to the kids’ play area. This year, they’d even added a toy shed — a cute addition.

While it was soul-rejuvenating and peaceful because we were the only ones on the farm — so quiet and serene, in fact, that my husband and I were almost sleep-induced on the spot — I did miss having families around. I know Keaton did, too, because he loves playing with other kids.

I remember handing Keaton his lunch box and opening snacks for him last year, as he was running around and having a blast amid a crowd of kids on a busy weekend day. This year, seeing Gaia with us, already nine months old with five big teeth and playing with toys here, feels like time had just flown by.

I love spotting all their Halloween art displays; they’re so darn cute and fun!

Mackenzie King Estate, Gatineau Park

Side of the Main Building of Mackenzie King’s Moorside Cottage

Garden at Moorside Cottage

William Lyon Mackenzie King is Canada’s 10th and longest-serving Prime Minister, and this Estate in Gatineau Park was his home and pride (now bequeathed to all Canadians to enjoy). It’s amazing how you could see and feel the legacy left behind by him; the gardens and ruins depict his dearest ambitions and romantic nature.

When we visited the Mackenzie King Estate in Gatineau Park last year, it had already been mid-October, so the sight was very autumnal with all the classic oranges, yellows, and reds. As we visited in September this time, much of the sight was still a summery green, not to mention the odd hot temperature.

So many hiking trails abound

Even if the bright autumn colours are an exciting sight to behold in Gatineau Park — it draws an impressive amount of visitors annually — I appreciate the earthy greens just as much. Forests and nature by and large are my home.

Kingsmere Lake next to Kingswood Cottage

Kingswood Cottage

First fall minis

Always living life dangerously and on the edge

Natural contemplator in his natural habitat

We did something new and spontaneous this evening: we had a professional family photoshoot done for our family! It was a 15-minute fall mini photo session with a local photographer.

While I’ve always wanted to take professional family photos, my husband and I had agreed that it would be something we’d do in the future instead, when the kids are older, given that with little ones the process might be too erratic and challenging, and not to mention, costly.

But something magical had happened spontaneously today: while nursing Gaia I stumbled upon a fall mini session being offered by a local photographer the same day, and without hesitation, I messaged her right away to inquire about an evening shoot.

None of us were expecting a family photoshoot today. I texted my husband, who was working from home, to shower and shave during his last break of the day; and when Keaton woke up, I excitedly told him about our soon-to-be adventure, which, to my surprise, he became excited about when he’d learned about it.

And there we had it: it was decided that that would be our adventure of the evening, and everyone was on board. So, just before my husband finished work at 5PM, I quickly nursed Gaia and did a change of clothes for both her and Keaton. As for myself, all was simple and casual: just my usual black leggings and fall boots, and my signature mustard yellow “April O’Neil” raincoat. (Plus a prayer that I won’t look too dishevelled, like a raccoon who’d been in a street brawl.)

***

I’d never been to the pond and trail that had been selected by the photographer. When we arrived, I was mesmerized by the tranquil sight of the pond and the trees that framed it gracefully. I could also see the photographer finishing up her photoshoot with another client as well, trying to capture orchestrated but authentic, candid moments.

While we did bribe Keaton with a divine donut after the photoshoot, I must say that I’m very proud of how he behaved today. He was cooperative and eager to take part in the photo sessions. He was even affectionate and helpful with his sister. Sure, the donut had its weight, but before I’d even mentioned it, when I told him about an upcoming family photoshoot in the evening, he’d already had a big smile on his face that exuded enthusiasm.

That’s how I knew my son was getting older and more rational, and easier in ways that he wasn’t before: we could now talk to him, explain things (even complex things), and he could understand and cooperate and even give us feedback. He’s grown so much already. It’s even reflected in his relationship with his sister — especially so.

Keaton now accepts Gaia and is very fond of her. In fact, they’ve been playing exceptionally well together lately on their playmat. My momma heart can just burst with happiness. Nothing’s perfect; struggles will always persist. But seeing their bond and love grow is the greatest gift of my life.

***

My husband was afraid that with two little ones a 15-minute session wouldn’t be enough time, but I knew: it was just right. After 15 minutes, our photographer had all the poses she’d needed, and the kids were just about ready to hit the road flying for sweeter pastures. With kids, often times, short and sweet is best.

I, myself, had a great deal of fun. It was our very first professional family photoshoot. As the mom in the family who’s always taking photos of everyone, for the first time, I felt relaxed and taken care of. I was finally in photos and most likely not looking like my head is the size of a planet itself. (I’m usually the one taking failed selfies of our family of four, and as I’m the one holding the camera, naturally from that angle my head looks ginormous.)

I really look forward to seeing the finished, edited photos, especially all our imperfections and candid moments. Regardless of the end product, there’s perfection in our family of four being together in nature, just as fall is starting to poke its charming head out.

***

After our photographer had left, we stayed for a short walk to soak in the sunset and magical atmosphere. These are the photos I’d taken, unedited. I think they turned out quite cute.

***

Thank you to my dear husband who supports me on all my whimsical ideas and adventures. I love that as crazy parents with crazy lives we can still be spontaneous together, and find joy in it.

Farm-hopping

Abby Hill Farms

Abby Hill Farms is a farm shop that sells locally-produced food, like fruits and veggies, as well as pumpkins during the autumn season. They’d just started adorning their lawn with pumpkins galore when we visited the last few times.

My favourite go-to there is their sweet corn. We’ve had the pleasure of tasting sweet corn from many local farms, and so far, their sweet corn is the tastiest. Gaia loves it, too, especially now that she has five shiny white enamels (she likes to gnaw on the cob).

Ferme l’Eco des Champs

Ferme l’Eco des Champs is a local ecological, agrotourism farm situated in Gatineau, Quebec, about a half hour drive from Ottawa. (The drive on the Quebec side is always scenic and refreshing.)

It was our first time there, and upon arrival, I noted just how cohesive and natural life there felt. The owner and her small team were hard at work; and after she came by for a quick hello and welcome, we were off exploring autonomously. I really appreciated the feeling of being a trusted guest in her home — it felt communal.

What’s neat about this farm is that they have a trust system in place, where customers are welcome to buy products in the shed without any employee to perform the transaction (they’re busy farming!). There’s a sheet where customers write down the products and their prices, a cash box to leave the money, and a device to scan debit and/or credit cards.

Gaia enjoyed observing all the animals, while Keaton was busy feeding the chickens. There was a tiny piglet here that was so stinkin’ adorable! Small it may be, but slow it wasn’t.

When we visited, they were working on a labyrinth made of at least a few hundred hay bales. Keaton had a blast running off and climbing on the hay bales, and hiding in all the nooks and crannies. As for me, I nearly broke my old age hips in the process of chasing him.

They also had fields of blooming flowers and harvested produce, all of which were ecologically grown. You can even subscribe to their different baskets of produce over the course of a period or more.

Perth, Ontario

Stewart Park

Not exactly a fall activity per se, but we drove to Perth the other day — just an hour outside Ottawa. We’d done many day trips outside Ottawa in the past, many of which had directed us on the highway. But to my surprise, the drive to Perth passed through the countryside!

It was magical and relaxing looking out the window the whole ride. The kids were deep asleep, too, so the quiet atmosphere made the experience all the more serene. My husband joked that perhaps we should do more trips to Perth in the future, if only for the scenic drive and to be able to converse and think (and have silence).

Perth Chocolate Works

Choosing some chocolates with Keaton’s “help”

The Code’s Mill

After we grabbed a little box of chocolates to share, we went to Stewart Park to sit on a bench and enjoy them together as a family. Keaton ate most of the chocos of course, since he’d asked to taste everything. But I was still a happy momma, sitting in nature and seeing my family enjoy life, even in all its imperfections.

While the drive to Perth took an hour, we’d spent a mere two hours or so there. We’d left later in the day — it’s hard to leave early with two little ones — so we didn’t have much time to spare.

After our little chocolate experience at Stewart Park, we ended up continuing on a walk around the downtown area. It was a short walk and there was much we’d missed, like the cheese and donut shop. But, my husband and Keaton did get to enjoy a visit to a local bookstore.

So little time to explore, but it was still a lovely outing. As parents now, our expectations and priorities have shifted: we do what we can, when we can, and the best we can.

Courges & Cie

Courges & Cie is an agrotourism farm in Gatineau, Quebec that harvests, as its name suggests, squashes and pumpkins (of hundreds of varieties). They also have a U-Pick subscription service where their clientele can pick their own fruits and vegetables directly from the field.

Before heading out to the pumpkin patch, we first tried their infamous wood-oven pizza that many customers have raved about. Even if I prefer the traditional greasy, cheesy species, I must say that this pizza was pretty delectable.

Their other infamous eat: the pumpkin donut

I picked up a few kabocha squashes (Japanese squashes) for myself and my parents, too. When cooked, they’re soft and exceptionally sweet, as if a pumpkin and a sweet potato had done the hanky-panky, and then had a baby.

They’re also densely packed with nutrients, so they’re perfect for Gaia’s eating regimen, especially as a puree or mashed. (In my motherly dreams she eats them, but in reality, she mashes them and windshield wipers them to the floor.)

I’d learned about kabocha squashes from my parents, who’d buy them often, and either steam them or make Khmer pumpkin-coconut custard dessert with them.

Their tent with all the pumpkin and squash varieties in the world

We picked a pumpkin from their pumpkin patch before heading home, but rather than the romanticized autumn moment, it was quite the sweaty summer day.

Valleyview Little Animal Farm

Puppet theatre

I wish I’d taken more photos of the farm itself — I’d taken mostly videos of the kids — because this farm is very dear to me. It was the first farm that Keaton had visited by car when we lived at our old apartment.

Back then, we didn’t have a car, so Keaton was limited to activities around our abode. It was only when my sister (Auntie Mel Mel) would visit us from Montreal, that he’d go on car adventures around Ottawa with her. He still has very fond memories of sitting in his car seat and eating snacks.

This farm was the first we’d visited with my sister. Now, being back here on our own, with our own car and a house we own, feels many years away from what was once a crippling challenge in our lives. And I feel immensely grateful, more than I could ever express.

This time at the farm, Keaton is much older and taller (without the little hair curl at the back of his neck). He also has a baby sister accompanying him, who was fascinated by the puppet show and all the animals.

This is where daddy and Gaia had shared a sweet moment observing alpacas together. Gaia was enchanted, of course.

Bruno had taken a photo of these two lovebirds, which, according to him, is a metaphor of us.

Proulx Farm

The entrance to the farm that I sweetly recognized from last year

This year, we were back for another round of Proulx Farm’s Pumpkin Fest. At this time of year, their farm is transformed into a giant pumpkin and Halloween-themed haven of fun.

Their iconic pumpkin stack

This year, Gaia is here with us, whereas last year she was in my belly!

Seeing the wall of pumpkins reminded me of my parents and last year’s trip (I was pregnant with Gaia). They came along with us and had a spooky good time for two elderly people. I missed them dearly on this trip and wish we’d had just one more seat in the car.

Gaia amongst pumpkins at Proulx Farm at 9 months old

Proulx Farm has everything fun for families during the fall season. It has different playgrounds with play structures and toys; it has a petting farm; it has a pumpkin patch and a corn maze; and it has tractor rides and Halloween displays, among other activities (they have more on weekends).

My favourite activity there is their wagon ride that took us along a long trail in the “Mysterious Forest” to see all the cool, spooky displays for Halloween. We all enjoyed our time, with Keaton excitedly pointing at different hidden displays in admiration and awe, and Gaia entranced by the serenading movement of the wagon.

Hay bales of animals

Character hay bales and a haunted house

I really admired all the Halloween displays on the trail and on the farm itself. It was a creative touch that added so much life and fun. The staff deserve all the appreciation, as much time, effort, creativity, and dedication had been involved in making Pumpkin Fest a spooky, fun zone for all. We even received free pumpkins that we were able to pick from the patch ourselves at the end of our visit, as part of our Pumpkin Fest package.

The highlight of autumn for me so far is being back at Proulx Farm, where fond memories had been curated last year, and where, going forward, we’ll always be visiting as a family of four. I’m hoping to visit a second time in October, when the temperature is chilly and crisp, and the leaves have changed colours.

Autumn came early

I know that autumn is actually a few weeks away, but in my heart of hearts, as soon as September 1st hits, it’s already autumn. For me, it’s a feeling of change, rather than a mark on a calendar or a change in temperature or colours.

Autumn is my favourite season, not only for its natural beauty, but especially for the essence and wisdom the season brings. It shows us the fleeting cycles of life and moments; it reminds us that there’s a time to do and be busy, and a time to stop and retreat; and it teaches us that in the end, there must be balance in nature and in the universe, just as there must be balance in our individual psyches and selves. As an introspective person, I appreciate how autumn ultimately leads me back home to myself.

Lately, I’ve been finding bliss in decorating our home and in doing little art projects with my husband. As insanely busy parents with very little time and rest, going out on dates has become a faraway dream. Nevertheless, I really love our quiet moments at home together when the kids are asleep. Actually, I prefer these more than anything. Presence is the ultimate sublime gift.

Paintable projects from Dollarama

My spoooky haunted house

My husband’s dancing skeletons

The other day, my husband had found some paintable Halloween-themed art projects at Dollarama. We painted them together the same night, and I had a great deal of fun. No skill or expertise was involved — just enthusiasm, will, and concentration.

It was a simple little project, but I was still proud of our work, because when I look at our Halloween art boards, I feel that I’d had the most peaceful time in a long time. And it didn’t take much. In fact, it was the most amazing date night, for only $4 or so a piece.

Pick-your-own produce at Rideau Pines Farm!

Luscious tomatoes in their tomato field

Strawberry field

The sweetest strawberries I’ve ever tasted!

Raspberries

My husband had a spontaneous week-long vacation, so another simple activity we’ve been enjoying are mini road trips. Since going on vacation and travelling isn’t feasible for us right now, we do mini vacations instead, which may consist of road trips to a nearby town, suburb, or city. And especially to farms.

I think we spend most of our time at farms. I’m not sure if it’s my tickling dream of living in the countryside and being self-sufficient — I’m aware that it’s difficult and that hard work, resources, and dedication are involved — or if farms are simply my happy getaway place. Whatever the case, I’m happiest there, and the kids as well.

Since Keaton loves tractors and construction vehicles, farms have always been a good source of education for him (of course he’s swayed by their play structures and toys, too). He’s also been appreciating picking his own fruits and veggies there. In fact, he’d always get so excited when we’d tell him our plan of the day was to go to a farm.

Recently, we’d spontaneously stumbled upon a farm — Rideau Pines Farm — that offered a variety of pick-your-own options. They had both fruits and veggies to pick! I was in absolute awe, as I didn’t know there was a farm where we could pick our own produce. It tends to be the case that pick-your-own farms offer specific seasonal fruits only.

Rideau Pines Farm was heaven-sent. They had a myriad of produce to pick: garlic, kale, tomatoes, strawberries, raspberries, currants, peppers, you name it. The day we went they offered pick-your-own tomatoes, peppers, strawberries, and raspberries. Friends, their strawberries were the sweetest babes on this earth! Did they spray sugar water?

Despite the random downpours — I’d managed to pick only a few raspberries before we had to go — and violent gangs of mosquitos, I was in my happy place. Not only was everything healthy, but there was something deeply spiritual for my soul to be picking my own food from its source — it had felt like I was one with nature rather than a mere consumer.

Pumpkin patch at Fallowfield Tree Farm

Gaia was fascinated by the black cover and all the overlapping dirt and leaves

Keaton was really adamant about picking this lil pumpkin

We also did something naughty: we went to a pumpkin patch! It’s still early in the season, and most farms don’t open their pumpkin patches until mid- or late-September, but Fallowfield Tree Farm was very kind to have welcomed us with such warmth when we gave them a dingle.

We were very lucky. In fact, when we’d driven by the their fields the day prior, I was just telling my husband how this very pumpkin patch was already looking plump and invitational, and what a bummer it would’ve been if they’d kept it hidden and inaccessible until their grand opening day like other farms.

Lo and behold, this lovely farm didn’t withhold the love. They were the most easygoing, kindred, heartwarming folks I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. It’s funny how the universe works. The day prior, I’d looked at the pumpkin patch longingly as we drove by, and the day after, there we were, spontaneously picking pumpkins.

Bonnie was a gem. She had the bouncy castle ready for Keaton by the time we’d finished our time at the pumpkin patch. We had no clue that she was preparing this treat for us. He was her special little guest of the day. We were all her special guests — she’d sent us home with corn, too. My motherly heart almost exploded with gratitude. I couldn’t thank her enough.

Something I’ve been very grateful for as well is our backyard, which I’ve recently transformed into a little oasis. I love the string lights; they make the space cozy and magical. This is thanks to my husband who’d spent time making it just right for me (even in the heavy downpour).

This year, I’ve added mums and pumpkins again. I hope my mums don’t die on me, and that squirrels won’t eat my pumpkins like last year (we’d added white vinegar around them, so, fingers crossed). The addition of scarecrows and Halloween characters also set the tone for an autumn-y and Halloween-y vibe.

There’s a bit of all of us in our yard: there’s the punching bag that belongs to my husband, the mums and flowers that belong to me, and the playhouse and general toys that belong to Keaton. As for Gaia, the trees are very much her muse. I love that it tells a story of us all.